I will Always Return
by CanadaGrizzly
Summary: A mysterious Capitol Attendant comes to Johanna's aid when she is being tortured. Set after THERE IS NO ONE LEFT I LOVE.


_Ok, So I just HAD to write this little plot bunny today. I just got some terrible news today, and so I did what I always do, I write. I go to another place with my computer, and stay in the arms of my characters for a while. This story came to me as I was standing in the shower after getting the phone call. I wasn't going to publish it yet, but I decided I ought to, simply because of the raw emotion I felt while writing it._

She heard screaming, as the water poured down on her, the cold, ice cold liquid that felt like a thousand searing pins in her every pore. She fought the chains that bound her for a few minutes, snarling like a wild creature as the damned things that held her bound seemed only to tighten all the more. It hurt, and to her shock, she watched as the water ran red, defeat washing over her all at once, falling limp in the shackles. It seemed like hours that she lay there, head resting in a puddle, eyes closed. She wanted to die. She had no reason to live, no reason to continue breathing. She'd lost everything. The love of her life had died only a year prior, and her heart was still broken from that crushing blow. She'd received her brother's body, but not her girlfriend's. The Capitol had, for some strange reason, no doubt a decision from Snow, not sent it back to her, to bury, and to mourn over.

 _If I die, I'll be with Sage again. I can see Mom, and Dad, and Jack. Oh Sage, please...please ... take me home...darling..I'm sorry..you wouldn't like the person I've become. Will you still love me, when I get to you? Oh please, Please Sage...please..you can't stop loving me._

"Johanna.." The voice was far away, and something far too warm was touching her cheek. "JOHANNA!" The whisper was harsh, urgent. She opened her eyes, nonchalantly, having given up all will to fight. If this Capitol Lapdog wanted to kill her, so be it. She would welcome death. "Johanna Mason! For the love of God! open your fucking eyes!"

"Why does it matter to you Capitol Scum? Go to Hell. Haven't you done enough? Let me die! I have NOTHING LEFT!" Her dark eyes met the deep sea green orbs, with an air of defiance. " ."

"No. Now shut up! I'm not supposed to be in here! They'll turn me into an avox if they find out I'm here. So shut up! Shut up and let me help you." The woman was persistent, Johanna would give her that much. She had no idea why this woman, who she assumed was sometime of servant to the Capitol, would want anything to do with her, unless it was to have her way with the former victor, as so many of the other Capitol already had done. She'd lost track at fifty. It had bothered her in the beginning, but now, like with everything else, she was numb, and had lost the will to care, the will to live. She'd given up on life, if she was being honest with herself, the day she'd heard the canon go off, and her beautiful Sage had died.

"L...let me ...d..die.." Johanna whispered weakly, her eyes beginning to close again. The hand on her scalp was warm, and soft, and achingly familiar. "Let me go back to..to Sage.."

"Shhhh..." The water splashed against her skin as the chains clattered to the ground, and the pressure was off of her wrists and ankles. Her head fell onto soft silken fabric. "Remember who you are...You are Johanna Mason. You can fight this..you can be victorious. Thirteen is coming Johanna. Soon. In one week the rebels will be here to rescue you. Hold on until then. Please...hold on.." The hand was stroking her shaved, bloody head, the gentle finger nails felt good on her scalp. She sucked in a deep breath. So, a rebel sympathizer. That was good.

"Y..You...what's your..name?" Johanna asked quietly, trying to sit up. She wanted to get a clear view of this woman's face. She remembered faces, not voices. Though this voice was achingly familiar. She supposed it was mostly a captive from District Seven. Who else would be so invested in her safety?

"You have no idea how badly I want to tell you my name, but that would put both of us in danger." Strong arms wrapped around her. "I can't let you see my face either. Not..Not yet.. Perhaps not at all...I can't hurt you more than you've already been hurt. Lie down..When you have your strength back enough to stand, I'll help you back to your cell...I'll bring you food every night when the guards take their break to go to the bar, when the rebels get here, I'll help you to get free."

"Why are you doing this?" Johanna asked, sighing gratefully as a cup of water was pressed to her lips. "Who are you?"

"I am the Dog who Runs in Darkness." The woman laughed softly. "No, but seriously. I can't tell you ANYTHING about myself. If it comes down to it, I don't want you risking your neck to save mine should anything go south when Coin's troops get here."

"Okay then, Miss Mysterious. That's what I'll call you. Madame Mystery." Johanna was met by a barking laugh. "What? It's your own fault, If you'd just give me a name, even a fake one I wouldn't have to call you by something stupid. "

"Alright..Alright..ALRIGHT!" The woman paused a minute, and Johanna heard a catch in her voice. "Call me Clary." Johanna heard a note of fear in Clary's voice.

"Hey..it's ok...you don't need to be afraid...I won't tell anyone your name...I promise..." Johanna whimpered as Clary dragged her to her feet, "Ouch.. damn..my leg.."

"Shit.. Here..lean on my shoulders...wrap your arms around my neck, and I'll carry you..quick! before the guards come back! Come on now! quick!" Clary grabbed her wrists wrapping Johanna's arms around her neck. Johanna yelped as she was suddenly lifted off the ground. In no time at all, the woman laid her down on the floor of the cell, shielding her face as she lifted a bowl of broth to Johanna's lips. "Drink..here..come on Johanna...come on.."

"I'm not a dog." Johanna snarled without thinking. She closed her eyes as she felt Clary suck in a deep breath. "Sorry..."

'No..It's fine..I shouldn't baby you. I'M the one who is sorry." Clary smiled at her. "Drink your broth and eat the bread bowl...You need to keep your strength up. Today is Friday. This time next week..you'll be on a hovercraft." With that, Clary disappeared into the night.

* * *

Saturday

Johanna opened her eyes to the pain of a cattleprod against her rib cage. She cried out in pain, gritting her teeth, refusing to talk. Again, as happened every morning, her day began with a hundred lashes of some type of electrical whip while she was repeatedly submerged in a pool of water. Then, she was just thrown in, tied down as the synthetic waves crashed against her, slamming her against the rocks. Hours passed, like the tick tock of their stupid, giant clock. Her strength was fading, her heart beat slowing. She didn't care. She didn't...but she had promised Clary that she would fight.

"Shhhhh...Here...open your eyes...come on Jo..open your eyes...for me.." Wood brushed against her cheekbone, and she opened her eyes as she heard the soft, hoarse voice beside her ear. "Come on Johanna..come on..I brought Lamb Stew this time..can you look at me?"

"H..hey Clary.." Johanna swallowed a mouthful of the warm stew, sighing as she looked into the sea green eyes again. She wished Clary would take off that annoying half mask. She wanted to see her savior, but she didn't have the strength to raise her hand to remove it herself. "This..this is..good.." Another bout of shivering sent a spasm of pain through her back. "c..cold.."

"Johanna...You have pneumonia..." Clary said worriedly. "Oh God.. what have they done to you? I'll see what I can do..what I can bring..I'll have to talk to Precious..." Johanna perked up.

"You know Precious? She's alive? She's ok? How..How do you know her?" Johanna tried to sit up, but a round of coughing sent her crashing back into Clary's lap. Hope filled her heart for the first time in nearly six months. Precious was ok.

"I can't talk about that...you'd simply go into hysterics if I told you, probably die of a heart attack.." Clary chuckled, placing a kiss on Johanna's head before standing up. The fabric tickled her scalp. "I'll be back tomorrow night. Please...don't give up..not before I reveal myself to you."

* * *

Sunday

The day began like any other, but for the first time, Johanna awoke with a feeling of hope, not of despair. The pain, that had made her cry out countless days prior, seemed to be nothing at all. Clary had awoken the warrior within her once again, the dragon, that had lain sleeping and dormant, was waiting with talons ready and teeth bared. She focused on the sea green eyes when the peace keepers tossed her into the pool of water, igniting the entire thing with an electric current, designed to bring pain, and not to kill her, or to paralyze her. Even so, after several hours of this torture, she was too weak to open her eyes.

"Johanna...I'm here..Johanna..open your eyes...come on Josie...come on...Open your eyes..please..oh Precious, her breathing is so shallow! What if she doesn't make it!" The voice seemed far away.

"She will darling. She will...Here..let me..I was a nurse before I was an escort...move..now Girl." Johanna felt silken gloved hands on her face, as she opened her eyes a tiny fraction. "Hello...long time no see." The humor in the voice shocked her, as did the distinct lack of a Capitol accent. She knew it was Precious, but gone was the voice that had annoyed her with it's high pitch and ridiculous inflections.

"Help her..Please...please...I..can't lose her..." Clary's voice shook and for some reason, Johanna felt her heart constrict with sympathy. She reached a shaking hand and placed it on Clary's knee.

"I'm...alright.." She coughed, hearing a shocked gasp from Precious. "I'm ok...don't...you..shouldn't care for me...not...not like...that..." She was attacked by another bout of coughing .

"Johanna...here...I'm going to give you this...it's not going to taste good, but it will, at the very least keep you alive. Lift your head a little bit for me so I can give it to you.." She pushed away Precious's hand.

"No...Precious. Here..let me.." Johanna felt Clary pull her against her, felt the now familiar feeling of wood against her cheek as Clary rubbed her jaw line. "Come on Johanna... open your mouth..I promise. One spoonful and then you can sleep. " Grudgingly, Johanna opened her mouth. She couldn't stand to hear tears in Clary's voice.

It tasted awful, burning like fire as it went down her throat and into her stomach. She closed her eyes, sighing as she was again lowered to the ground in her cell.

* * *

Monday

Everything hurt. She couldn't even open her eyes, it required too much effort. She couldn't make a sound as she was shackled into the steam room, couldn't even cough as the cold water sprayed into her face. She allowed her mind to go back to another place, another world, long ago, when she was happy. The sun shone and she raced through the pine forest, Sage at her side, Jack following close behind. They were playing keep away, and Jack was slowly catching up. Oh how she missed those two. The love of her life, and her baby brother. She wondered if Jack was watching over her, and if Sage was nearby. Part of her hoped that Sage was right beside her, and part of her didn't want her girl to see her in pain. She didn't notice when she was unshackled, didn't feel the guards throw her roughly onto the cold floor of her cell, didn't feel three of her ribs break. She was numb, lost in memories.

"Johanna..." She DID hear the velvet voice, full of tears, she DID feel the warm arms wrap around her shivering body. "Hey..come on..don't you leave me...come on...don't...don't leave me..they're here...we have to move fast..Johanna! JOHANNA! THE REBELS ARE HERE! LET'S GO! " She felt herself lifted up in warm arms.

"No..Precious..I've got her..Go..Get the door..I've got her.. She's my responsibility." Clary lifted her in her arms, and Johanna felt her head sag on Clary's shoulder. "Damnit..Johanna...GALE! Help! She's seizing!"

"Take her to the Hovercraft!" That must be Brainless's Robin Hood. Well, Johanna thought, at least the rebels were here. Early, thankfully. "I've got Peeta! GO! "

Flying. That's what it felt like, Flying. Clary ran, dodging bullets, and Johanna wondered where she had learned to move like that. "Hold on...you're ok...you're ok...Hold on Johanna...Come on...Don't leave me now..Don't leave me! We're here! We're here! Ok..Here baby..I'm setting you down...you're ok...you'll be ok...here...Blanket..yes, thanks.. good..Precious, take off her clothes. Yes you heard me right. Her clothes. She's covered in Ice! Strip her down. We need hot water! Someone get hot water!"

"Clary..." Johanna raised her hand, weak and trembling, to touch Clary's face, to pull of her mask. "I..I want to see the face of the woman who saved me.." Johanna said weakly.

"Ok..alright..as long as you promise not to die on me..You have to promise Johanna! Promise me!" Clary jerked the cloth from her face, and the sight made Johanna's heart race.

"Y..You're alive.." She whispered, fighting to sit up. She succeeded, throwing herself into the woman's arms. "My Darling-"

"Shhhh...I'm here..I'm here...I'll explain when we get to thirteen..." Sage's voice was soft as Johanna slipped into unconsciousness.


End file.
